Bittersweet.

Bittersweet is the word that is ringing in my head. My newsfeed filled with friends returning to school, at the school my daughter has attended since KG. A place we loved, a place she excelled, a safe place that felt a little more like home than school at times. Many of the same teachers I had growing up, friends I had made over the years, Maw maw teaches 1st grade, her Aunt teaches 6th grade, Paw paw works for the church, I worked there for many years before I ever had babies of my own, a place of friends & family. When KG came for our 1st, there was never a question where she would attend. We never had to check out other schools because we knew of this little jewel. But today has come and Karly is not starting school with her friends, we will not get to see my mom, sister, & cousins everyday. My friend, this is the bitter part. I am a little sad to not be apart of the back to school breakfast, to chat with my friends & favorite teachers; to feel the buzz & excitement for first day, new students, anxious teachers.

Circumstances change, classes change, and change seems to be the key word for this year. At the end of the year last year we left knowing we had a big decision to make. On the outside everything looked great, our oldest is very good at putting on a smile even if she is crying inside. She is my little people pleaser. We found out early on, before ever starting Kindergarden that our girl had a mind beyond her age, we made the decision to skip a grade to keep her challenged & academically it was by far the best thing we did; however socially it was a hard year. Missing friends, not feeling like she fit with new friends, feeling trapped between two grades. We watched an overly confident girl be consumed with insecurity. Academically she was excelling, and in a world consumed by academics, hold your breath when I say this, but, academics is not everything. Every child has their gift, some are incredible ball players, singers, artistic, outgoing, dancers... for my girl, it is academics. She is an excellent student & will conqueror any new concept you give her.  She has always loved to learn, every teacher she has told us what a joy she is in class because of her love of learning. Since entering KG, there were 3 teachers Karly could not wait to have, 2 of them being a given, her aunt & her maw maw ;) the other one was the 4th grade teacher. Karly literally was counting down the days to be in Mrs. Bucks class. I am not exactly sure what it was but from day one Karly loved the 4th grade teacher & could not wait to get in her class. So when we heard the the 4th grade teacher was not returning... (waahhhhh!) We knew it was not going to go over well. To make a long story short & many details that I am not willing to share, we knew it was time for us to move on. Incase you are wondering we still love Cornerstone & highly recommend it to all. It was just time that we made a change that would better suit our daughter. It was the first time ever we would have to find a school that could meet our standards, love our daughter, understand her need to be challenged... and this was no easy task! I spent nearly a month not sleeping, Literally sick to my stomach everyday.

We began calling schools, scheduling tours, conversing LOTS with each other. A little over a year ago we moved out to a semi-country life. When we toured the house Jason made the comment to me, "man this would be a perfect home-school room." I let it go in one ear & out the other. We both knew home-school would be a option, down the road! There are not a lot of schools near by, and public school is not an option for us (if you love it, I love it for you. It just doesn't work for our situation.) I am a HUGE believer that you have to do what is best for your child. each child. So whatever school you choose, if you love it & your child is excelling than I am so happy for you! After nearly losing my mind for a month (ok, longer than a month, it felt like an eternity!) On a very hot sunny summer day we left a school tour, Jason & I both liked the school, had no real concerns, even had many things we loved-- that Karly & Mere could be in the same building & the same schedule from now until 8th grade, they had a girls ball team (woot woot)... all good things. We went to lunch & I nervously asked Jason what do you think? Totally thinking that we were going to disagree on what we should do. Much to my surprise we both knew exactly what we needed to do, it was time to home-school. Since KG, our daughter, loving the school she was at, would beg throughout the year, "Mom would you please just home-school me. I want you to be my teacher!" Now I know God was preparing me for what was to come.

We are very excited about the upcoming year, its been fun letting her be apart of the planning. To help choose unit studies, places she wants to learn about, specific interest she has. I feel honored to get to take her mind to new places. To watch the light bulbs go off. I have always loved the classroom and now I get to use this passion within me to grow this beautiful mind. Our year will look very different than it has in the past, we have field trip fridays, many new groups & friends to make, our life will be a little slower, our schedule will not be determined by a ringing bell, our curriculum will not be based on what the majority should know. We will have art lessons in a donut shop, reading at quaint bookstores, gymnastics in the middle of the day, music at concerts & symphonies, science in the park, and history in museums...she will learn how to cook, do laundry, change oil in the car, build on site with dad, photography & much much more. To say we have an exciting year planned is an understatement. And this my friend is the sweet part.

A day that feels so bittersweet.

Last night, the day before school, in the past this night was filled with lots of nerves & anticipation. Packing backpacks, lunches, picking out the perfect outfit, early bedtimes & alarms sounding off the morning & the rush of the day. Instead the girls helped me cook dinner, walked the dog, ate ice-cream while watching the sunset, a beautiful warm breeze with rainbow filled clouds blew bye, a warm summer rain rushed in, so we ran to the trampoline. It thundered and rain began to fall harder & harder, all the while we laughed, jumped, laid flat on our backs, closing our eyes & opening our mouth to catch freshly fallen drops. Then stinky wet children ran inside begging for bathbombs and one more story please. It was nearly a perfect night, and during a time that feels a little bittersweet I am reminded once again why it is we made this choice. Freedom to learn, freedom to play, freedom to make time for what is most important. Looking back on the past couple years I can clearly see how God has been preparing us for this season. So although we have moments that feel a little more bitter than sweet, we know they will be followed by days of pure sweetness.

We wish all of our friends a great 1st day-- Hugging old friends, meeting new friends, nervous smiles, good students & a successful year ahead! We hope you love your teachers & your classmates, & teachers I pray each one of you has a classroom full of little angels!

Many of you have asked me to keep you in the loop of this journey we are embarking on so I plan to  blog our journey through our first year home-schooling. We start Monday, kicking off with back to school fun activities, opening new books & new curriculum, lunch with Dad at a new pizza place we have been dying to try but is always too long of a wait for dinner, so why not lunch?! (yay!! to also having Dad home with us!), and ending the day at a favorite bookstore to pick out our first read of the year! We too are nervous & excited for our first day, just for different reasons than we have had in the past :)