Have you ever met someone who looks like they have it all together, all the time. You know, hair never out of place, enough make up to highlight all their perfect features, their children well behaved, they are never late, they have matching acessories for their trendy outfit that fits like a glove, they seem to wake up everyday in love with their husband, in every instagram pic their house looks sparkling, they manage to find time to work out, they eat clean, bills never seem to stress them out, they take multiple vacations which are of course planned to perfection, they drive the latest most sufficient SUV… I could go on but I'm about to go green with envy. Yep, I'm confessing. I am guilty of looking at other moms, even my other mommy friends and feeling so insufficient, like why can I not have it all, do it all? I know in reality their lives are not as perfect as they look on the outside yet still I struggle with feeling this way. It wasn't long ago I had a friend tell me, "I didn't think I could be friends with you cause you always looked so put together…" and it hit me-- I CAN come across as THIS girl, THIS mom. My need to try to keep up with everyone else has often times kept others away from me. I want to be the first to bust all these myths (at least about my our life anyway!)
Things are not always as they seem. I do love my life, and I am very blessed, but even still, far from perfection.
MYTH 1: I have perfect hair--
My hair is falling out like crazy (pregnancy shed) and I hope it stops at some point or I just might be bald! I like my hair natural but have so much gray that I must color. I like it blonde but cannot afford to keep up with it.
MYTH 2: I never leave the house without makeup--
Me & makeup have a love hate relationship. See I'm not one of these girls that looks naturally beautiful (despite what my mother says!) I wish I had the confidence to just not care but I do. I feel naked without my concealer & mascara. I spent way too much time in tanning beds & in the sun as a teen and now I am paying for it. SPF Ladies!
MYTH 3: Never be late--
I am often late, I hate being late so I might get up 3 hrs before I have to be somewhere so I am not late-- its a small price to pay!
MYTH 4: Fashion--
I love jewelry & fashion, but I have not been shopping in years, honestly. Since having children there are so many other things that are more important to me than having the trendiest jeans. Before children you could find fashion magazines by my bedside at all times, now what fashion I have comes from what I glance at while standing in the grocery lines.
MYTH 5: My marriage is perfect--
I do love my husband dearly, but trust me we have our fair share of disagreements, we have had our times that I didn't know if we would make it, we have had to learn how to fight fair and we still don't get it right sometime. We also have a really good counselor that literally saved our marriage at one point. I love him, but I don't wake up everyday in love with him. After nearly 12 years I am still learning what it means to daily serve & love unselfishly.
MYTH 6: My house is always clean--
My house is rarely sparkling. I scrub my own toilets. My house is not huge, It is a 3 bedroom ranch & often the thought of more children is scary, cause we would have to build on to our house that we just rehabbed, none the less I absolutely love my house. It is everything I have ever wanted and perfect for us.
MYTH 7: I workout & eat right--
I have not worked out in ages! I currently am struggling between wanting to be in shape but also loving my mom body. I don't want to let myself go but I also refuse to give up time with my family so that I can be a size 6 again. My stretch marks are not going anywhere, and I may never wear a bikini again but there is part of me that is totally ok with that. I want to be an example of health for my girls. I don't want them to think that beauty correlates with your jean size, but I can't tell them that I have to show them that & teach them to make healthy choices.
MYTH 8: Money's no problem--
BILLS, can I just be honest and say that I hate money. For awhile now money has been a struggle. Jason's job has changed and so has the market, effecting our income. Some would say, well stupid you are a SAHM, go back to work… but it isn't that easy. I refuse to work to in return pay for childcare. We may not get to eat out, take vacations, my kids have to be involved less activities, my kids wear all hand-me-downs, I shop at Aldi's (& still have a budget), at times not know how we are going to pay certain bills, eating out means ordering off the $1 menu, Jason & I both drive old vehicles (mine just lost its gas cap lid-- really swanky!) but you know what, my kids are happy, we are happy. We want for very little. We know the difference between wants & needs. My favorite part is that often times it is me feeling guilty we can't give them the best or the newest things, but they never even miss it. What my kids want is time with me & their Dad, we make many memories, we know how to make the best of things we have. Money doesn't buy happiness. truth.
I'm feeling a little vulnerable now, but that it ok. I refuse to make someone think things about me that are not true. I am real. I realize that this is not normal that society tells us not to show our weakness, to fake it til you make it… but its not real life & certainly not how to build real friendships. I want the people in my life to know & love me for me, not who they 'think' I am. This is the season of life God has me in now and I want to embrace all it has to offer.
Matthew 5…"keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you'll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven. "
After I wrote this blog I found this on Newsweeks Cover: The Myth of the Perfect Mother…
