I've been very purposefully taking time to slow down, one of those ways has been taking some quiet mommy time. Every day Kar naps for 2 hrs and most the time I am cleaning, finishing up laundry, working out, showering-- just getting things done! So the past 2 weeks I have been reading and journaling a lot (something I quit doing after I had a baby...) I could not wait for my mommy time today, I knew I needed it today (anyone with a 4 yr old that some days are better than others! ;)
I sat down today with my stack of new books & had a moment to realize how much God has blessed me with. Sometimes I get so caught up in life that I forget to say Thank you! I am sitting in my comfy chair, fireplace going, hot tea, books & iPad (so glad I bought this for my husband :) God ever to quietly reminded me to sit & soak in His blessings
Thank you Father for the breath you have given me this day to bring you praise
I thank you for a life where nothing is wasted, a life where you turned pain into purpose
You will never put anything in my path that cannot bring you glory
No matter what the day holds, you have clothed me with strength & dignity.
I have divine strength to overcome any obstacle because I belong to Jesus.
Lord you are my security. No one & nothing can take that from me.
I choose to turn from fear because you are with me.
I can smile & laugh over the days to come because your plan is good.
This has been my prayer for the past week. I have struggled with fear & insecurities my entire life (as most women I know do) but I have decided that I will not continue to. I will become fearless & confident in and with this life I have been given.
I am a get to the point kind of girl. So here are my get to the point reminders!
God will:
Perfect everything that concerns me. Psalms 138:8
Work all things together for my good. Romans 8:28
Contend with those who contend with me. Isaiah 49:25
Fight this battle for me. 2 chronicles 20:15
Equip me with divine power. 2 Corinthians 10:4
delight in showing me mercy. Micah 7:18
Meet ALL my needs according to His glorious riches. Philippians 4:19
Give me perfectly sufficient grace. 2 Corinthians 12:9
Be power to my weakness.2 Corinthians 12:9
Do immeasurably more than all I could ask or imagine. Ephesians 3:20
Thankful today of the quiet reminders & the still small voice.
Friday, January 20, 2012
Friday, January 13, 2012
Junk Drawers.
I just finished reading "Every Woman's Battle". I bought the book about 5 years ago, while trying to get a grip on "Every Man's Battle" (yes I read the one for men first, that is just the kind of person I am. I like to know what I am up against! lol!) 5 years ago I started to read it & thought this is a waste of time I totally do not think this book is accurate. Boy was I wrong!!!
In my recent 'cleanse' to cut out the junk in my life I am trying to replace it with productive things. I am also desperately on a journey to deal with my own 'junk', you know how there is the drawer or multiple drawers in your house that you call the "junk drawer"- you never clean it out, or organize it, anything you don't know what to do with, just throw it in the drawer! I have realized that as humans we have our own internal junk drawers. Things happen to us, situations occur, attitudes form, bitterness, unforgiveness... (need I go on...) We don't know what to do with it at the time so what else is there to do but throw it in the junk drawer of our heart.
My internal drawer was starting to overflow a bit, you know like when you gotta smash things down to get it to close. That was me, or so I thought! So I picked up this book again, my goodness how we change in 5 yrs, maybe when I 1st picked up the book I was just too young or immature to understand it, but 5 yrs later I felt like this woman was in my head. The book looks like my highlighter exploded on it. I started to see the honest version of myself & it was NOT pretty at all! My drawer did not just need a little smashing it needed a complete overhaul!
I am now experiencing things for the first time in my life. I come from a family of avoiders, non-confronters so there has been a lot of junk in my life that I have never dealt with. In a part of this book there is a suggestion to write a letter to your 13 yr old self- HOLY COW! If you have never done it, you must! It was one of the most difficult things I have ever done but also the most freeing. Things I have been carrying around with me for nearly 17 years I was finally able to let go of.
I know with my 4 yr old sometimes I feel like I repeat the same thing over & over again but sometimes she just doesn't get it- how God must feel the same way with us. "LeAnn let it go, LET IT GO! I have better for you, if you will just trust me." Yet for some reason there are times that we just won't let go until God finally has to teach us the hard way. I like to have control all the time, I am a perfectionist, to my detriment at times. I have always thought this was just part of my make up, who I am. Are you ever sick of being 'who you are'? God reminded me that I do not have to stay that way but it is gonna hurt for a bit. To really look at your core is not pleasurable, no matter who you are! So I am on a journey and honestly it may take me a long while before I arrive, but I am so thrilled & awestruck by a God who loves me and allows me so many chances to get this right.
So here a few nuggets from my 1st clean sweep:
So here is to cleaning out my 1st junk drawer! Great things are to come...
To (her) who overcomes, I will give the right to sit with me on my throne, just as I overcame and sat down with my Father on his throne. Rev 3:21
In my recent 'cleanse' to cut out the junk in my life I am trying to replace it with productive things. I am also desperately on a journey to deal with my own 'junk', you know how there is the drawer or multiple drawers in your house that you call the "junk drawer"- you never clean it out, or organize it, anything you don't know what to do with, just throw it in the drawer! I have realized that as humans we have our own internal junk drawers. Things happen to us, situations occur, attitudes form, bitterness, unforgiveness... (need I go on...) We don't know what to do with it at the time so what else is there to do but throw it in the junk drawer of our heart.
My internal drawer was starting to overflow a bit, you know like when you gotta smash things down to get it to close. That was me, or so I thought! So I picked up this book again, my goodness how we change in 5 yrs, maybe when I 1st picked up the book I was just too young or immature to understand it, but 5 yrs later I felt like this woman was in my head. The book looks like my highlighter exploded on it. I started to see the honest version of myself & it was NOT pretty at all! My drawer did not just need a little smashing it needed a complete overhaul!
I am now experiencing things for the first time in my life. I come from a family of avoiders, non-confronters so there has been a lot of junk in my life that I have never dealt with. In a part of this book there is a suggestion to write a letter to your 13 yr old self- HOLY COW! If you have never done it, you must! It was one of the most difficult things I have ever done but also the most freeing. Things I have been carrying around with me for nearly 17 years I was finally able to let go of.
I know with my 4 yr old sometimes I feel like I repeat the same thing over & over again but sometimes she just doesn't get it- how God must feel the same way with us. "LeAnn let it go, LET IT GO! I have better for you, if you will just trust me." Yet for some reason there are times that we just won't let go until God finally has to teach us the hard way. I like to have control all the time, I am a perfectionist, to my detriment at times. I have always thought this was just part of my make up, who I am. Are you ever sick of being 'who you are'? God reminded me that I do not have to stay that way but it is gonna hurt for a bit. To really look at your core is not pleasurable, no matter who you are! So I am on a journey and honestly it may take me a long while before I arrive, but I am so thrilled & awestruck by a God who loves me and allows me so many chances to get this right.
So here a few nuggets from my 1st clean sweep:
- Stop comparing & criticizing and begin embracing (me & my husband)
- When we sow emotional and metal seed of compromise, we reap a harvest of relational destruction
- Guard your heart. Prov 4
- The only way to kill a bad habit is to starve it to death
- God made every fiber & nerve of our bodies, He can also satisfy every fiber & nerve as well.
- Love is a commitment not a feeling
- Either sin will keep you from the bible, or the bible will keep you from sin
- The tongue corrupts the whole person. James 3
- If God does not despise you for the ways you have tried to fill the void in your heart, neither should you despise yourself
- You are never more like Satan than when you are full of pride.
- Intimacy= In-to-me-see
So here is to cleaning out my 1st junk drawer! Great things are to come...
To (her) who overcomes, I will give the right to sit with me on my throne, just as I overcame and sat down with my Father on his throne. Rev 3:21
Sunday, January 8, 2012
Its time to cleanse! Goodbye Cyber World
Happy New Year Blog World! So clearly Blogger should fire me cause I have not blogged in ages! I mean 3 months in blogger world is like an eternity! LOL. But I am back & hopefully will get better about posting. I will not bore you or catch you up on my life the past 3 months.
January is always a time for new goals (most that will never be met) I am a huge goal setter- actually I just like checking things off a list, so motivating to me! This year I am doing this a little different. Our church is doing a 21 day fast, although I admire those who can fast for 21 days I am not that disciplined of a person. Yes, I am joining in the fast just not going an entire 21 days. I have prayed about it & have decided that I am going to choose 3 days a week for the next 3 weeks to fast in the literal sense of the word, but I really feel that God is urging me to use this time to clean my life of its clutter so that I can focus on Him & the blessings He has given me. So I have decided that I am giving up Facebook & my "computer time". I waste far too many hours of the day on my computer when I could be much more productive. Our lives get stuffed full of things that don't 'really matter'. Due to all the technology there is hardly any quiet time in our lives. So for the next 21 days it is time for me to really look at my life, my attitude, who I am at my core... I am excited to re-prioritize my days, to slow down & remember life really is about the simple things. Although a fast is primarily about giving up food, I am using this as a "cleanse" to clean up my life, multiple areas at a time. So if you need me, the important people have my number :), I will check my email once a day, and I might or might not answer, please don't be offended it is all me & my goal to suppress my flesh.
January is always a time for new goals (most that will never be met) I am a huge goal setter- actually I just like checking things off a list, so motivating to me! This year I am doing this a little different. Our church is doing a 21 day fast, although I admire those who can fast for 21 days I am not that disciplined of a person. Yes, I am joining in the fast just not going an entire 21 days. I have prayed about it & have decided that I am going to choose 3 days a week for the next 3 weeks to fast in the literal sense of the word, but I really feel that God is urging me to use this time to clean my life of its clutter so that I can focus on Him & the blessings He has given me. So I have decided that I am giving up Facebook & my "computer time". I waste far too many hours of the day on my computer when I could be much more productive. Our lives get stuffed full of things that don't 'really matter'. Due to all the technology there is hardly any quiet time in our lives. So for the next 21 days it is time for me to really look at my life, my attitude, who I am at my core... I am excited to re-prioritize my days, to slow down & remember life really is about the simple things. Although a fast is primarily about giving up food, I am using this as a "cleanse" to clean up my life, multiple areas at a time. So if you need me, the important people have my number :), I will check my email once a day, and I might or might not answer, please don't be offended it is all me & my goal to suppress my flesh.
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