See my child #1 was text book. Easy baby, easy toddler, easy kid. I never understood why moms were always frazzled, why they couldn't shower or get a proper meal on the table. Life with #1 made me proud. She was & is nearly perfect. Don't get me wrong we have bad days & attitudes seep out from time to time but overall she is just a very easy lovable, loves rules & never wants to disappoint, especially her mom. She followed every routine, listened the first time, and never really pushed the limits even as a terrible two (or three year old), was potty trained at 18 months, a vocabulary larger than most adults I know, and could read, write & count to 100 before she started pre-school. Overall I could not be more proud, she makes me proud to be her mom, proud that I have done a 'good' job raising her, for her seven long years ;)
Then there came child #2, I didn't foresee why this one would be any different. We would follow all the same rules, books, sleep methods... and child #2 would be just as angelic as child #1. LOL!!!!
You can bust up laughing now! :)
My #2 could not be more opposite than child #1, she came into this world backwards (breach) and that pretty much says it all! She turned my world upside down. She was a difficult baby, would not stay on any schedule. She is 'that' toddler screaming at the top of her lungs in Target & throwing herself on the ground when I tell her "NO," She does not care if you put her in time-out or discipline her, she may even hit you back. This child is the reason why I am usually sound asleep on the couch by 9pm, why I can't even remember having an HOUR to get ready for any event, and shower? what shower- they are over-rated! For months I was scared to leave the house with her cause she was so difficult to manage. What had happened? Where did I go wrong? I had many days of tears feeling like I was failing her, and even more guilt that I was not enjoying being her Mom.
I am getting ready to share a very personal story so please be gentle with me. ;)
Recently she gave us the scariest moment I have ever had as a parent. She was screaming to go outside with Dad, so I let her go out & I watched her walk to where I thought he was. Long story short. Dad was not where I thought he was. So while I was inside working on a Mother's Day gift, Jason was building something for me, Meredith decided to go on a walk by herself...
Later Jason came in & I asked "hey how is Mere? is she driving you crazy?"
His reply, "Huh? Mere isn't with me!"
PANIC.
We frantically started running around the house searching for her. My baby was no where to be found! The feeling that set in my heart is a feeling that will never be erased.
My mind was racing-- How could this happen? This doesn't happen to good parents? We ARE good parents. This happens to people who don't love their kids... Jesus, where is my baby? I need her. Please bring her to me... I am an attentive parent!...
About that time a white van drove up to the top of our driveway. It was a friend we used to go to church with. Jason said "Hi" realizing who it was.
Our friend said, "hey are you by chance missing a kid? We found her about a mile away at my in laws house."
My little wild 'Merty' barefoot & in diapers went to meet the neighbors!
Oh Dear Jesus! (I don't even want to know what the neighbors think of us!)
It was this instance that I learned-- child #2 is, my sunshine mixed with a little hurricane.
"She is delightfully chaotic; a beautiful mess. Loving her is a splendid adventure." -- Maraboli
#2 keeps me humble, reminds me that being a parent has nothing to do with how "good" my child is. That my own self worth has nothing to do with my children. That God loves us all, even the wildflowers among the roses. We all need a 'Merty', to keep us on our knees & close to God. #2 pushes me outside my comfort zone daily-- we meet friends EVERYWHERE we go, we have to think outside the box, she pushes me to be a better mom, a better person.
Some have made statements that I favor child #1, oh how wrong you are. See #1 is just like me. I understand her, I get her, I am her. BUT #2 dances even when people ARE watching, she will run the company or the world, #2 is who I always wanted to be but never had the courage. Child #2, I pray that I never mold you into a box you were not made to be in. I pray that the world never steals your innocent joy, that you always chase the sun, that you always be my wildflower!
If you are a mom out there, be gentle to each other. Yes your child(ren) might all be #1's and good for you. But there are many of us with child(ren) like #2, and no, we would not trade them for your #1's any day-- we love their delightful chaos, their beautiful mess & their splendid adventure. We do not apologize for their wild nature. We only feel sorry that you do not have a chance to experience this world as a wildflower.
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| What would life be like if we all picked our toe jam in Target? |
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