Kindergarten is Coming

I have spent most of this year agonizing over what might seem like a silly decision to most.  I have lost sleep, shed tears, prayed til I had no more words left, stress ate, and didn't eat... all over the decision to homeschool or send my youngest to an actual traditional school. If we haven't met yet, you might want to know that I over analyze everything. While the majority of parents just pop their kids on the yellow bus & trust it's what is best; I seem to have missed that class on how to be chill & breezy with my child's education. I really do admire those breezy folks, its just not how I'm wired.

 There is so much more to it than meets the eye. See my mother is the KG teacher & has taught not only me but also every grandchild to date. So Meredith would be the only one who didn't get to have her as a teacher. My mom is probably one of the best primary teachers I have ever met & I'm not saying that just because she is my mom. More often than I can count I am asked "Are you Mrs Kellermann's daughter? She was my favorite teacher!..."

As many of you know Meredith is not your "traditional" child. Her sensory processing disorder & speech issues cause her much grief in this "norm crazed" world, but honestly is her greatest gift. Our education system doesn't allot much room for kids like her, they like a one size fits all. The thought of "normalizing" her makes me cringe, that is the last thing I want. I love exactly who she is. So after many conversations, evaluations, & sleepless nights we finally made the decision to homeschool her.

I have never been a believer in a one size fits all. Homeschool was the best decision we made for her sister but I promised myself when we started this journey that #1 we would never commit to more than 1 year (every year, even tho my oldest says she is never returning to a normal school ;) and #2 never treat each daughter the same. My two girls are polar opposites. The statement "it's not fair" doesn't get you far in our house. What works for one doesn't mean it will work for the other. At the end of the day when all options were weighed we knew what the right thing was for her & for our family.

So while I can remember like it was yesterday, dropping my oldest off at KG, leaving with the most gut wrenching feeling. I am overjoyed that this time around, there are no butterflies, no tears. Meredith is so excited to get started, she asks me everyday if she can start today?! I am over here loving that I am not sick with anxiety over my daughter leaving for full day KG. I know that we will get to work & learn "Meredith style". We are just enjoying life & all it brings. I know there will be challenges ahead this year, teaching with a large age gap is challenging, a 6th grader & a KG means A LOT of responsibility for me. But there is one thing I am confident in, it is what is best for our family in this stage of life.

To all my mama's in the drop off line with a lump in your throat-- I am praying for you. You have taught them well now let them fly!

To all our friends heading back to school, starting new schools-- you've got this & remember to smile, everyone needs a smile on the first day!

To the teachers who no matter how many years you teach, the butterflies visit you too-- thank you for loving those kiddos, for drying their tears, giving hugs, smiles, your patients, encouragement, you are a blessing to so many!

And to my fellow homeschool mama's, do your future self a favor this year-- stay any our pj's a little longer, drink an extra cup of coffee, give that child one more kiss, one extra hug, take one more field trip, listen a little closer, snuggle a little longer, read one more book together-- one day they might be in another teacher's classroom who doesn't love them the way you can, so take advantage of it, do all the extras you can now, so your future self can thank you!