Has someone ever asked you to do something that you felt was way outside of your personality, outside of your comfort zone, outside of any characteristics... you have? Yeah?! me too.
I have grown up in church, I have always believed in God & could quote scriptures since I was a wee one; from a Christian home, private school, to Missonettes & church camp I grew up with no doubt of God. I have always believed. Fast forward many years, I met a man who led a youth ministry. Let me seg-way by saying I wanted nothing to do with marring a Pastor of any kind. Pastoring was not 'my thing'. My idea of a Pastor's Wife was very tainted & well I just didn't like the thought of it AT ALL. After me throwing fits to God about why He would give me a husband who was a pastor & a YOUTH pastor?! I mean seriously, who really likes teenagers?! UGH. I was appalled with God's choice. I eventually got over myself & realized I had to give it my all or get out. Slowly and I do mean slowly I started seeing why He loved youth ministry so much.
Dare 2 Share was an event we did ever year. We had signed up our largest group ever. Pumping music, heart wrenching dramas, impacting media. Then came, (as they say in church lingo), "the altar call". There I was, a youth leader, heck! the youth pastor's wife. I had lived this Christian life, but I only believed. It never dawned on me til tonight that it is a 2 part process: believe & receive. See for years I believed in God but I never received His love. It was all about what I needed to do for Him, I never let Him do for me. There I was in a room of thousands of teenagers & youth leaders. My heart nearly pounding out of my chest. Humility is an understatement. When this time comes the speaker always says "every eye closed & head bowed..." but our lead team had a pack to always be watching for students hands so you knew who needed some extra attention... I knew not only would my husband see me, but so would the rest of our youth team. I was suppose to be the leader. But I swallowed my pride & I went for it. I raised my hand to accept Christ, just like my students. My life forever changed. It was in that moment that I understood love. That very night unfolded before me a plan. I thought I would change the lives of students but really they changed me.
I still remember that day like it was yesterday. I heart D2S! That plan I mentioned, God did not forget it & neither did I. I have tried many many times to push it away, to make excuses, to run, but every time God pulls me back. God has given me a task that in my mind is so overwhelming, unconceivable, not suitable for this introverted quiet girl. When I start using these excuses God reminds me "If I used your strengths, than you would doubt mine." Did you forget those bible stories: Moses & his speech impediment, Rahab was a prostitute, Abraham's lack of faith, Gideon & his army... I know that I cannot do this without Him.
I think we all have a mission. Maybe it is simple. like speaking a kind word; maybe it is huge and you should pack your bags for Africa (don't worry mom, I'm not going to Africa, at least not yet anyway) ;)
Whatever it is quit measuring yourself by your standards, but see yourself as God sees you.
As a mom, when I look at my daughter I truly believe that she could become anything, and how much more must God see in His children. Just as God has told me, get off your butt & start opening that mouth I gave you. He is telling you something too! It has taken me 5 years to finally surrender my plans completely to Him & honestly I am scared to death! God is calling me to speak into the lives of other woman. I know it will be baby steps for me. Honestly, Women's Ministry is the second to last place I would choose for myself, right there next to youth ministry :) but tonight God reminded me that I need to lift my limits. We do not walk around with speed limits on our heads, 35 mph, 55 mph... Yet somehow I have set a limit on my life as too how much I'm willing to do for God's kingdom & He is screaming at me "HIT THE GAS!!! & GIVE ME THE WHEEL!!!" So I am challenging myself to lift the limits, and I challenge you to do that same, don't neglect the gift God has given you, you are worth investing in and others are waiting to benefit from it. SO LETS FLOOR IT!
No comments:
Post a Comment