SO for the past few months now I have been in deep thought-- the past 6 months have been some of the best and worst of my life. Which put me into this state of surreal consciousness. I was one of those people that always struggled to “find myself” I would see other people (girls) who had this specific plan and way of life- they knew exactly what they wanted and seemed to know exactly who they were-- this was the complete opposite of me! I admired these people, earnestly tried to be like them, forcing myself to have a specific plan, but in return would make me crazy! I am SOOO left brained. I am the person that would live in a different state every month, would backpack around the world, who would never wear the same lipstick color everyday, or could only have one pair of black or brown shoes. I would have never made it in Catholic school, wearing a uniform! Last January I decided that my new years resolution was to be “GENUINE” to myself, not be who I think people want me to be but to be me. I would no longer look down at myself because I could not seem to be this “career woman”... Not be ashamed that I wasn’t the life of the party, or embarrassed that I am not good with words and cannot think quick on my feet---WOW has it changed me! I have always been very bright and a very quick learner but when it came to knowing myself I was a very slow learner. In allowing myself to throw out all these” rules” I had created for myself, these rules that I thought created the perfect woman, I have in turn become the person I always wanted to be. I seemed to gain a load of confidence and allowed myself to be ok with who I am, in return finding myself more beautiful. As you women know, physical beauty only last so long, so it was true beauty I was seeking. My 20’s have been an amazing time of growth and probably the best years of my life yet. Getting married, birthing a child-- AMAZING! I have throughly loved learning the things that make me come to life-- trying new things, but also allowing myself to fail at things. What I found: I hate office work, I hate talking on the phone, being put on the spot, and even though I am good at it, I don’t like to organize. I absolutely love getting to have freedom in being creative, love photography, web designing, drawing & writing. I love to listen to a good book (thank god for audio!, I hate reading), I love to just give of myself to a needy cause, I love running & taking the time to focus and think about life. I LOVE taking care of my family & getting to dance in the kitchen with my baby girl (she doesn’t know that I am a bad dancer!), I love surprising people, I love reading health journals & hot topics, I love sweet tea & fried zucchini. I love to garden, but only the easy things like peppers :) I love alone time. My favorite is waking in the morning and having the man, the #1 fan of my life hold me- that is the best start to everyday. Life throws many curves, many of which I took this year, but those curves allowed me to take opportunities that I don’t normally take. I show those I love how much I love them. And for me to recognize that I do not have to like everyone and everyone doesn’t need to like me-- I am now perfectly ok with that. So, when it is all said and done I may not make $100K a year, and some might not think that I live a prestigious life-- but one thing I know is that I LOVE my life and I am blessed every day of it.
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