Leaving a Legacy

I'll never forget the first time I met this man, he was tall, strong, built like a linebacker. He had a presence about him that was both intimidating & reassuring. I was walking in for my first "real" grown up interview. I had just moved back home for college, did not want to live at home and was desperate for money. My sister knew of a job opening with a custom home builder, so I made the phone call & got an interview. Now you might think I have a degree in interior design, marketing, sales, architecture or engineering.... nope! I was a psych major. I knew nothing about homes.
This stately white haired man sat across from me, asked me 3 questions:
Do you have kids?
How old are you?
Why should I hire you?
...and said ,"ok I'll have someone call you." It was the easiest interview I have ever had to date. Little did I know that a year later that man would become my father in law.

Although he has never told me I think he loved popping in my office to interrogate me. At the beginning it made me so incredibly nervous. This man who had built a lucrative business was sitting at my desk asking me questions that he had to know the answers to; that I, the new sales assistant, had no clue how to answer! My palms would sweat, my heart would race, I would feel like a babbling idiot, pretty sure I had sweaty pit stains, more than I care to admit. Then one morning he popped in & sat himself back in my chair and begin asking me questions of a more personal content and that was when I realized his interrogation had nothing to do with "work" but had everything to do with getting to know me. He got up from my desk & pointed at me as he walked out the office and said "you're alright kid!" And we began this little banter every morning of me getting him coffee & his asking "did you touch the rim?" (He did not want anyone touching the part he drank from. lol.) It was a series of questions & joking back & forth. If you know him, you know he loves watching people squirm.

As time went on I had babies, ended up leaving that sales assistant position to be a stay at home mom. Watching him with my babies was a sight to see. He was so good at knowing just what they needed. It was like he could just read their little minds. He could interpret each little coo & goo.

This past Father's Day we went to their home for dinner. While Jason played in the yard with the girls he sat across from me & very seriously, so intensely he said " LeAnn, I gotta tell you I think what you are doing with those girls is just great. The things your teaching them, makes me proud. Don't ever stop teaching them." If you know this man you know he is not a giver of warm loving words. That moment meant so much to me. Because he is a man of few affirmations I understood the weight of these words.

Little did I know that 2 weeks later he would be admitted to the hospital for the next 6 months. That his body would be racked with stage 4 cancer in his brain, bones, & lungs, he would suffer strokes, ecoli, bed sores that would leave him screaming in pain, phone calls that he may not make it through the night, and that my husband would now spend every evening/ night in the hospital with him because he needed 24/7 care.
Everyday. every hour. every breath mattered.

When someone you love is suffering it is never easy to watch. But seeing this strong ox of a man now in tears of pain, sunken in cheeks, no muscle to show for, unable to move his arms or legs,  unable to make a complete sentence--your heart completely shatters.

Bill, I could tell you this now but I am not sure that you would remember it or even fully understand. I know there were times that you were not the best father, loosing your own father at the age of 12. You never had an example of what a father should be, you were an absent father while trying to build a business, I know there were times that business decisions tore your family apart, times when family dinners felt more like business meetings. But I have had a front row seat to this stage of your life and I assure you, you are loved. I have watched your kids push themselves to the brink of exhaustion, fight with everything in them to get you the very best care imaginable. Your grandkids surround you with hugs, tears, pictures, ice-cream. Family fly in town to sit by your side. You may have worked your entire life to build a business but somewhere along the way you managed to also built a family that loves you more than you will ever know! I am so proud to call you my family.

So in true Bill fashion, let me just say " you aren't too shabby yourself, Boss!" ---xoxo.

*I wrote this post over a year and a half ago & I never hit publish. This man continued to fight hard, he had so many ups & downs. Days where he was full of life and days we all wondered if he would see tomorrow. Tonight I got "the call" the one you never want to get. But Boss it was time. You fought so long & so hard. I almost couldn't believe it was true cause you beat the odds so many times before! You are the strongest, most stubborn man & I believe you are up in heaven now telling Jesus how the heavenly homes should be built, talking politics & fussing with Grandma Pearl ;) As sad as it is to know that when we pop into visit I won't hear ya say, "Hey look who it is!, your chair will be empty, & no one will be there to feed my kids loads of ice-cream; but I am so happy you are pain free, your body healed, you are HOME.