Off the grid.
Unrushed.
Old fashion.
Minimalist.
Silence.
Call it whatever you want, after reading a book awhile back called, The Best Yes, which totally changed my life (highly recommend it!), my word of choice is "unrush" -- I recently have been at war with myself; struggling with glorified busyness and left yearning for solitude. I am not sure when exactly busy became a positive verb, as if the busier your schedule then the better more productive your life is. I have wrestled with this idea for a couple years now. Constantly struggling to find that perfect balance.Two years ago at a very specific time in my life I felt God calling me to live "unrushed". it came from my daughter who was always telling me, "Mom quit rushing me!"(To my defense, if she has it her way it would take her 2 hrs to get her shoes on. She moves at her own speed and that speed is slow.) However, I felt so convicted, that on a daily basis I was placing my need to have a tight schedule over my daughter's feelings. Many days by the time we got into the car, she was in tears and I had boulders of guilt weighing on me. Did it really matter if we were 10 min late to the event we were headed to?, was it the end of the world if we didn't make it to church 10 min early to make sure we had plenty of time to get the kids checked in? Would my friends be mad if I was 15 min late to a 'playdate'?....Why was I valuing rush over relationship? That was the first moment God spoke to my heart & told me to UNRUSH my life. I would love to say that 2 years later I have it all figured out & I wish I could share the perfect formula to unrush your life. Sorry to disappoint. that is not the case, I am still trying to iron out all my wrinkles, yet constantly reminded to unrush.
I recently was reminded of this at church, an entire sermon based solely on "How Loud is Your Life?" Did I listen. NOPE. I made excuses:
I have 2 kids, I work from home, the majority of my customers come from social media, I work with my husband, I am a new homeschool mom, I have lessons to plan, activities to schedule, groups to join, new adventures to explore, making sure my kids were in the best camps, I have to clean, cook... and summer is running out so I have to squeeze every last ounce of fun into our days....
I kept on with MY schedule, running the hamster wheel, ignoring the sweet soft tug on my heart.
This week it all begin to catch up to me. Hurricane LeAnn. The stress, the anxiety, the noise, the rush, the frustration, the fear, the guilt, the discontent, until I finally just had a breakdown- maybe its my make up, maybe my introverted self can only take so much but I found myself in my bed tears coming faster than I could control, feeling out of control. unleashing it all. and then I felt that tug on my heart again. unrush your heart.
"I don't want my life to be so crowded that I'm nothing more than a commercial for crazy"
Why do we feel pressured to live among the norm? The norm who cannot stand the silence, who's home is anything but peaceful, who is more worried about impressing their neighbor than impressing Jesus, the norm who has to be rushed to feel good about themselves, the norm who glorifies the days they are exhausted & have nothing left to give to the people who matter most? The norm who spends more time on social media than they do quality time with their loved ones? The norm who can't go through dinner without checking their phones. Who has to check text at stoplights... (yes I am guilty) I don't know about you but I do not want my kids to grow up & their memory of me to be, Mom with a phone in my hand wishing that I would just play with them. I want my husband to know that he comes before any phone call or email. How ironic it is that boredom is now suddenly a luxury.
A year ago we moved out to "the country" of so it seems. One of my most favorite things to do is work in our yard; not because I love pulling weeds or because I am that great of a gardener, but simply because when I walk outside I can hear nothing but sweet stillness- the birds singing, the frogs crocking, the wresting of the leaves, crickets chirping, nothing even slightly resembles that of a rushed life. It only takes a few minutes of quieting my soul that I am reminded of the importance of life.
"Don't let busyness make you miss the blessing of divine interruptions."--Terkeurst
So I am challenging myself for the next couple weeks, maybe longer, I don't really know for how long. I am going off the grid. Pulling the plug, going back to the good ol' days, finding the silence in my life. Living life interrupted by what matters. I refuse to live my life in a rhythm of rush. At the end of everyday I want to know "It Is Well With My Soul"
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