What makes you pretty?

I always knew that being a mom would mean making difficult decisions, but I was not prepared for this. This morning I had to leave early for church & Jason had to bring the girls. I told them that I laid clothes out & it should be easy. Boy was I wrong!

"Mom I am an athlete, I do not wear fancy clothes, only sweats!" I hear this phrase on a daily basis from my little miss, but today was followed by... "I do not like myself today! Look at this outfit!"  You have to understand that while she is saying this, she has HUGE crocodile tears & she is VERY upset.

I have a confession, I have often judged the parents who let their kids just wear whatever they want to. I have had many strong opinions about this. It was a peeve of mine & I said I would not be "that parent". Boy am I about to eat those words. I get it now. I often struggle with knowing what battles to pick- in one aspect I absolutely do not want to raise a spoiled brat, but on the other hand does it really matter if her clothes match or if wears sweats?! Might sound silly but it is a real battle for a control freak like myself. But today solidified it for me- hearing my 4 year old tell me that she does not like herself broke my heart. I want more than anything to raise a confident strong young lady, yet I am implying that she must do this under my terms & that is not ok.

It is funny how one day she just woke up with a personality all of her own. I guess I just always expected to have this girlie girl who loved pink, purple, tutu's & all that glitters. I never expected to have a little tomboy who'd have grease in her nails from working on the car with her Daddy, who would want a super hero party & if there are sports on the TV she suddenly has no interest in anything else around her. It is a bit endearing & a bit repulsive to me all at the same time :)

So Kar & I sat down today & I asked her, "Kar what is it that makes you pretty?" She very sweetly pointed to her heart, "its on my insides, BUT you think I am pretty when I wear snazzy things." It hit me in that moment that this was a mommy lesson- I had messed up... ouch that hurts!

 I went on to promise her that from today on, she could choose her own outfits, even to church! And that what she wore could never make her MORE beautiful to me. I was saddened by what I was teaching her, yet proud that even though I had messed up she got the bigger picture. So please, do not judge me when you see my child & she looks ridiculous- I would much rather her look crazy now if it means gaining confidence in who God created her to be, than be crazy later in life & confused about who she is. So here is to raising a confident little lady & not always getting it right as the mom.