When we first found out we were at a routine check-up and explaining to our pediatrician how overwhelmed we felt parenting this child. I begin to explain how the simplest things were huge daily obstacles, brushing hair, teeth, smells, sounds, going to playgrounds, she was so rough, her hugs would literally hurt you, her high fives would sting my hands, while most parents are begging their toddlers to eat I was begging mine to stop, I had never heard her say, "I'm full". Our daily life was so difficult. I got to a point that I felt like I could not take her anywhere. I felt like I was tip toeing around my 2 yr old, not in a passive parenting kinda way, but as a way of survival. She immediately sent us for testing & within the hour it was clear that my daughter had severe SPD. Not even a month later she had qualified for 2 different forms of therapy. I don't think I will ever forget watching her hearing test, as her chin quivered & tears streaming down her face, "Please make the noises stop! It hurts!" That was my ah-ha! moment. This was so much more than a behavior issue, this was a life issue. Normal, daily life was not at all normal for her. As they tested 11 different areas of concern she tested severe in all but 2 categories. This was such a bittersweet day for us: relief that she was not just a "bad" kid, that there were ways to help her & heartbreak that her life would always be misunderstood.
She went through a year of speech & occupational therapy through our public school district, unfortunately it was not as helpful as we had hopped. Our district uses group therapy which is great if you struggle with the "norm" -- for example most SPD kids do not like to get messy so they spend the majority of their time with play dough, slime, finger painting... focusing on what most the children are struggling with. However our Meredith is not the "Norm" of SPD. Where most SPD kids are hyposenstive, she is hypersensitive & visa versa. So long story short they were not able to focus much time helping her with the issues she had. In a year worth of classes, going 3x's a week, only one of those weeks focused on her areas of need. So this year we opted to try something new. I have spent countless hours researching & studying to apply therapies at home. It is a lot of trial & error to see what helps. I am by no means in expert on SPD but I am an expert on my child. I by no means discredit those who spend their lives teaching these little hearts. It was just not the best option for us & even her therapist agreed.
We found that vestibular activities work best for her. Swimming is her vice ;) Swimming calms her nervous system & gives her body a sense of calm. During the summer she spends 90% of her day in the water & this winter she is swimming as much as possible. On really tough days I fill the bath tub & let her go to town! :) She has also started riding horses, which has been amazing. She finds such a sense of calm, the faster the horse goes the better! I am very thankful for a barn that doesn't hold her back. She tells us weekly that she is going to be a barrel racer & I have no doubt that she just might!
She went through a year of speech & occupational therapy through our public school district, unfortunately it was not as helpful as we had hopped. Our district uses group therapy which is great if you struggle with the "norm" -- for example most SPD kids do not like to get messy so they spend the majority of their time with play dough, slime, finger painting... focusing on what most the children are struggling with. However our Meredith is not the "Norm" of SPD. Where most SPD kids are hyposenstive, she is hypersensitive & visa versa. So long story short they were not able to focus much time helping her with the issues she had. In a year worth of classes, going 3x's a week, only one of those weeks focused on her areas of need. So this year we opted to try something new. I have spent countless hours researching & studying to apply therapies at home. It is a lot of trial & error to see what helps. I am by no means in expert on SPD but I am an expert on my child. I by no means discredit those who spend their lives teaching these little hearts. It was just not the best option for us & even her therapist agreed.
We found that vestibular activities work best for her. Swimming is her vice ;) Swimming calms her nervous system & gives her body a sense of calm. During the summer she spends 90% of her day in the water & this winter she is swimming as much as possible. On really tough days I fill the bath tub & let her go to town! :) She has also started riding horses, which has been amazing. She finds such a sense of calm, the faster the horse goes the better! I am very thankful for a barn that doesn't hold her back. She tells us weekly that she is going to be a barrel racer & I have no doubt that she just might!
She is learning to control her sound & learn to tolerate the sounds of her surroundings. I am grateful to the teachers in our kids church who love her & have helped her enjoy her class without sound blocking headphones. We went to a very loud Christmas concert & I was so thrilled when she chose to take off her headphones, telling me, "I don't need these mom, I am good." And then she shared them with a little girl next to us who was covering her ears. Precious!
We did preschool at home this year & it is truly amazing how far she has come this year. From refusing to hold a crayon to begging to do more work. She is very strong in math, but really struggled with letters. She officially knows all the letter names & sounds, It was a HUGE win this year when she finally learned how to spell her name- all 8 letters! (I'll never give another child such a big name! The things you don't think about when naming your baby). She is writing letters & numbers; starting word families--for most preschoolers this is normal, but for Meredith this is a challenge. Most of the information she knows & can verbally tell you but struggles to get in onto paper. Her mind is very unconventional. I am constantly trying to find new ways to teach her & encourage her. Meredith is very hard on herself & she loves others effortlessly but struggles to show herself that same love. She may struggle to write her numbers but can build a lego set for a 12 year old. She's one of the best problem solvers you will ever meet. We have days that we win & days that we are thankful for a new day.
Food is an area of concern with her type of SPD, she never knows the feeling of full. She has a constant driving desire to always have something in her mouth. She needs the chewing & biting to release the tensions in her nervous system. I should buy stock in bubble gum, cause we got through loads of it! We are constantly trying to teach her what it means to feel full by teaching her the size of her stomach. By giving her boundaries with her food choices & amounts of food. If you know Mere, you know she is a big girl. However her BMI is right where it should be for her height. This is an area that I am xtra sensitive to, as she was starting to say things like, "I have a fat belly" or when she meets someone she'll automatically say, "I'm a big 4"... Which seems cute at 4 years old, but the mama bear in me is not ok with what that is saying about her self-image . It is also an area that others feel the need to comment about. I have to bite my tongue often & remind myself that most people are very uneducated on SPD. If you see a little kid who looks chubby to you, you think they eat too much, let me help you out-- keep your comments to yourself. No one, no matter how old they are needs to be told they are chubby, chunky, fat, big.... Kids are people too, they have feelings & are being shaped by what "adults" tell them. My new strategy is every time she makes a comment about how "big" she is, I rebuttal with a comment about how strong she is.
Speech, it something we are still working on. SPD & speech go hand in hand. I am told that if you have SPD, you most likely have a speech issue. Mere is what they referred to as a lazy talker. She does not care to stop & take the time to pronounce the word correctly. She will leave off endings or replace letter sounds with ones that are easier for her. However if tested she can pronounce them properly. I am not speech pathologist by any means but I spend many hours finding ways & tips to help her. She gets very frustrated when people do not understand her & more frustrated when she can't get the right sound. I find this to be one of the hardest issues, because she is a bigger girl, she could easily pass for a 6/7 year old but then she speaks she does not have the articulation of a 6/7 year old. I'll just say this; other kids & adults can be really mean. There was a little girl in karate that would literally not sit by her because of the way she talked. I have had to confront adults who have laughed at the way she pronounces things-- just be kind & teach your kids to be kind.
Life with SPD is good, it is hard, it is always changing, it is accepting that not everyone will understand her, in fact most won't, it is your heart exploding when you meet friends who love & accept her for who God created her to be, it is never letting her use it as an excuse, it is always finding ways to teach her, it is learning to have really thick skin, it is getting to experience a love like I never known, it is teaching her that she has purpose, that normal is boring, that little girls like her turn into women that change the world.
Food is an area of concern with her type of SPD, she never knows the feeling of full. She has a constant driving desire to always have something in her mouth. She needs the chewing & biting to release the tensions in her nervous system. I should buy stock in bubble gum, cause we got through loads of it! We are constantly trying to teach her what it means to feel full by teaching her the size of her stomach. By giving her boundaries with her food choices & amounts of food. If you know Mere, you know she is a big girl. However her BMI is right where it should be for her height. This is an area that I am xtra sensitive to, as she was starting to say things like, "I have a fat belly" or when she meets someone she'll automatically say, "I'm a big 4"... Which seems cute at 4 years old, but the mama bear in me is not ok with what that is saying about her self-image . It is also an area that others feel the need to comment about. I have to bite my tongue often & remind myself that most people are very uneducated on SPD. If you see a little kid who looks chubby to you, you think they eat too much, let me help you out-- keep your comments to yourself. No one, no matter how old they are needs to be told they are chubby, chunky, fat, big.... Kids are people too, they have feelings & are being shaped by what "adults" tell them. My new strategy is every time she makes a comment about how "big" she is, I rebuttal with a comment about how strong she is.
Speech, it something we are still working on. SPD & speech go hand in hand. I am told that if you have SPD, you most likely have a speech issue. Mere is what they referred to as a lazy talker. She does not care to stop & take the time to pronounce the word correctly. She will leave off endings or replace letter sounds with ones that are easier for her. However if tested she can pronounce them properly. I am not speech pathologist by any means but I spend many hours finding ways & tips to help her. She gets very frustrated when people do not understand her & more frustrated when she can't get the right sound. I find this to be one of the hardest issues, because she is a bigger girl, she could easily pass for a 6/7 year old but then she speaks she does not have the articulation of a 6/7 year old. I'll just say this; other kids & adults can be really mean. There was a little girl in karate that would literally not sit by her because of the way she talked. I have had to confront adults who have laughed at the way she pronounces things-- just be kind & teach your kids to be kind.
Life with SPD is good, it is hard, it is always changing, it is accepting that not everyone will understand her, in fact most won't, it is your heart exploding when you meet friends who love & accept her for who God created her to be, it is never letting her use it as an excuse, it is always finding ways to teach her, it is learning to have really thick skin, it is getting to experience a love like I never known, it is teaching her that she has purpose, that normal is boring, that little girls like her turn into women that change the world.
