Questions with Karly:
- What is your favorite color? Green
- What is your favorite toy? My new doll
- What is your favorite movie/ TV show? The American Girl Mc Kenna Movie & Doc McStuffin
- What is your favorite food? Mac n Cheese
- What do you like to wear? my new dress I got this weekend
- What is your favorite thing to play? Gymnastics with the kitty
- What is your favorite activity? painting
- What is your favorite animal? my kitty & my stuffed dog I got when I got my ears pierced
- What is your favorite song? "That is hard." "Single Ladies" & Laurie Burkner "pig on my head"
- Who is your best friend? Levi & Rosie (you know the little chocolate girl in my gymnastics. We decided today that we were best friends)
- What do you like to do outside? Go to the park
- What is your favorite drink? Fruit Punch
- What is your favorite holiday? Mother's Day & Valentines Day (I just like to show people I love them)
- What do you like to sleep with? My blankee & bear & clifford
- What do you want to be when you grow up? An Artist
- What is your favorite thing about your sister? She plays with me
- What do you love about yourself? I love that I love everyone & my blonde hair
- What is your favorite thing to do with Daddy? Get snow cones!
- What is your favorite thing to do with Mommy? Go to the park
- What makes you feel happy? When my sister hugs me & when everyone I love is together in one place
- If you could go anywhere in the world where would you go? To Disney & then to Oklahoma to see Hannah
- What are you scared of? Bad dreams
- What do you like most about your family? Our hugs
- What is your favorite book? Pete the Cat
- What makes you sad? when I get hurt
- If you could be anyone famous who would you be? Gabby from the Olympics
Wow! What a big day this was in the Courtney household! Our baby is in preschool & our big girl is in college. Woah, that is almost too much for this mama to handle! I learned some huge lessons today. I was so excited back in 2002 that I would never have another 1st day of school again. Don't get me wrong, I love school, I always have. I'm a nerd like that, but as long as I can remember I have hated the 1st day! If you knew me as a child, you really understand my level of hate. I went kicking & screaming, literally. In first grade my parents had to take me in my PJ's because I was throwing such a fit. And now if you know me as an adult one of the hardest things for me is meeting new people, prolly is carried over from my childhood! lol. Well last night about 2am as I was staring at my bedroom walls... it took me back to all my 1st days & here I was again, but this time as the mom. Wow, no one ever told me that 1st days are wayyy harder as the mom. (My poor Mother, I don't know how she held it together!) It is the most complicated emotion- feeling so proud of this little person, watching her grow & develop into her own self. Knowing without a doubt she is ready. Yet also feeling grief that another stage of motherhood coming to a close. When you hold that newborn baby, school seems so far away; Yet now school is here & holding my little 6 lb baby feels like just yesterday.
I was having my teeth cleaned the other day & my hygienist got huge tears in her eyes as she told me she just dropped off her baby at college. She told me " It is all about the mom, the kid totally doesn't get it! But you work so hard to raise a son/daughter you are proud of & in just minutes you have to leave them to figure out life for themselves..." That only reassured me that I will be a hot-mess for a long time to come.
Karly was overjoyed for this day! Seriously it could not come fast enough for her. For 3 days, 50 times a day she would ask, "is it Monday yet?" Today she popped out of bed like lightening & said "ITS MONDAY! I GET TO SCHOOL TODAY!" As she was overjoyed; I felt anything by joyful. I did not sleep a wink the night before trying to figure out how I felt about this new situation. In 4 yrs of being a mom I have never left Karly but for kids church and with grandma's & Aunts. I have always said, I want to be the one raising my child. I don't want her spending more time with other people than with her family. It is a huge priority to me. So this day hit me a little hard today. I was all good until 2 am when all the worries & concerns start flooding my head: what if other kids are mean to her, will she be the one to stand up for what is right, have I been 'good enough', will I regret giving this time up?, will her teachers challenge her, will she make friends...? Before I knew it the alarm was blaring & I had to face this dreaded day.
She did it, like a pro & her teachers were amazing! I was proud of myself I held it together- no tears... I decided that I would reward myself with a Starbucks! I pulled into the parking lot & looked back to my empty carseat & the floodgates opened. I was suddenly a HOT MESS! I drove around Starbucks 3 times thinking I could pull myself together & go in. NOPE- didn't happened. I went home to cry in my own coffee. After about an hour I was fine, I got it together knowing this is best for her.
At this point, some of you might be thinking that I sound kinda pathetic, well let me just remind you that I waited 6 years for this child. I don't have kid #2 & kid #3 to figure things out on, I have to get it right the 1st time. I know that she was a miracle, and I don't take that lightly. I know what it means to cherish my time with her. Not a day goes by that I am not reminded of the heartache I went through. I don't say that for anyone to feel sorry for me, but next time you see a mom that you might think is 'over the top' remember that you don't know the whole story. That this might be the only child she gets to experience being a mom to & she might just want to savor every single moment of that blessing! (sorry for that mini rant)
I could not wait to pick her up & had the opportunity to watch her through the window before class was over. She was having the time of her life singing & dancing, participating (sitting right next to the teacher of course) but having a blast! My heart felt completely satisfied at that moment. Before she got out the door she said "Mom school is so fun. I got to sing, paint, recess & I'm in charge of the lights, I made 2 new friends & my teachers are the best. I got to do everything I love all in one day! I'm totally going back there!" One of my favorite things was she later told me, "Mom everyone already knew who I was. I must be special!" lol. (She didn't realize it was because she had her name on her shirt! ;) love it!!!
I promised her a fun lunch so we went to The American Girl Doll Cafe' & had lunch. SO FUN!!! If you have a daughter this is a must! And no, you do not need to spend $100+ for a doll (that is ridiculously stupid in my mind) they have an entire wall of dolls that can join you for lunch free of charge! My penny pincher tip: go to Target & buy an Our Generation Doll (they are virtually the same thing for a 1/4 of the price! Then you can get an AG doll outfit without spending her college fund! lol!)
The song that kept playing in my head today "..All of my life in every season you are still God. I have a reason to sing, I have a reason to worship..." I'm entering a new season of life and the seed I have received, I will now sow. I know God is positioning me for great things to come & I know that this child is just one way of showing me how much He loves me even-though I still struggle with trusting Him completely! I cannot wait to see what this child becomes-- I may be bias but I am pretty sure God has extraordinary plans for this little miracle!
